sixth and possibly the last in my series of self-produced music videos. although i’ve enjoyed making these videos, i’m not convinced it’s worth it. you could also argue that the visual stimulus detracts from the music. if i post any new tunes it’ll be on soundcloud from now on

me in the waythe song came as a moment of inspiration caught on my iphone back in january 2013, initially on my birthday, oddly enough (see my post on 6 february 2013 to listen to the voice memos and 18 september 2013 for a little more about the words). at the time i knew it had the words ‘i fall’, but little else, not my usual lyrical outpouring given a tune to follow. it took until july this year to nail the lyrics, coinciding with a bout of depression, which has yet to lift. there’s something about being down that aids composition

playing guitari decided i wanted to work with shadows to fit the subject matter and initially imagined shooting down a flight of stairs, but the practicalities of finding suitable wall space meant i moved location to the room i record in, as it has a nice big wall i can get at. i moved the furniture and tried setting up an old slide projector, but i couldn’t get the size of the image any larger than about A3, so i grabbed a video projector and found its projected size was much better. i thought i’d be projecting white light, but i got a logo instead and had to fiddle around with the settings until a blue screen popped up, which i liked and thought apt. next i had to experiment with my positioning to create a good shadow on the wall and that of the camcorder, which needed to avoid my actual body

nothing is the sum of all i ami got going and took three or four takes before checking them out. i found i’d stood in the wrong place or moved out of shot and little of the footage was usable. i shot some more. gradually i got enough to cobble together, although i’d have preferred some better shots here and there. i’m growing quite philosophical about how things go, that or just plain lazy. something that’s never changed is the gift of serendipity, when something unexpected happens to the good of the project, like the blue screen and the flickering effect. they weren’t what i had initially planned, they were better!

leaving the sceneso this is my swan song. i have no future plans. nothing in the pipeline and, possibly more importantly, no desire to create anything anymore. whenever i get excited about something the reality of the non-event destroys me and i’m currently not strong enough to continue. the only thing musically in my life that has any meaning is the cube orchestra and that’s probably because there’s no importance attached to what we do there, no plan, no rules, no onus, no disappointment

‘fall’ on youtube
‘fall’ on soundcloud

cube orchestra

6 thoughts on “fall”

  1. shame really as I thought the videos and the production on the audio have been getting better and better! don’t be disheartened maybe you just need some space xx

  2. That’s a beautiful song. I felt it was too short so it must be good. Sorry but I forgot about your videos and songs so will now listen to the ones that came before.

  3. What a beautiful and quite moving song, and what a great beard silhouette! It’s made me want to take a look and listen to the rest in the series – I’ve managed to miss them somehow, not being a big FB user. I’m looking forward to hearing more x x char

  4. Alright mate, it will come back, you should just do it for your own enjoyment anyway! If it isn’t giving you any joy leave it for a while an come back to it. I know music is also about the audience feedback but if you’re in a studio or in air it’s not quite the same anyways. My joy comes from taking a great photo or finding a wicked track, sharing them is nice an all but nothing beats that initial buzz. Keep lookin, like everything only once you stop trying will it reveal itself.

    1. i feel you’re right indigo and the responses just go to show why it’s not a good idea to post when on a downer, like not sending an email when you’re angry. i liked producing the videos, but am now looking forward to making new music different to the rather standard approach to the production of my songs so far. new beginnings …

  5. I know,,,, how about getting together with The Fall and releasing some tracks! Nothing like getting super depressed and then loving it all over again Kefir! :)

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